We Wear Masks
by outwittingsquirrels
Summary: Tonks misses Emmeline during HBP. NTEV. Femslash. Slight mentions of Sirius/Remus.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter and all Remus/Tonks shippers should be very glad of that =)

**AN:** so I was wondering why Tonks was so upset at the start of HBP. I mean, it was hardly just because Remus wouldn't go out with her, that's a pretty big overreaction I think, especially since they hardly know each other. So I had a look at the book again and came up with this idea. (I also wanted to write a bit of femslash if I'm honest). So I hope you like it!

'Wands at the ready everyone,' Kingsley warned as he examined the lock carefully. As if we hadn't had our wands out since we landed, or earlier. In the alley behind, a loud crash echoed off the graffiti-covered walls and caused several of the group to jump violently. The skeletal cat looked green in the light of the Mark above our heads when it emerged from the bins.

A moment later, Kingsley had the door open. We followed in single file. The old town house was dilapidated, obviously once beautiful but now the habitat of rats and mould and the by now stereotypical setting for a Death Eater murder. They seemed to enjoy the dramatics and grandeur of old mansions and half destroyed houses. And despite their disdain for the Muggle population, the choice of this particular house couldn't have been more disturbing for the Muggle government. No 10 was just round the corner.

'In here, I think,' Kingsley said. His deep voice calmed everyone. My eyes darted round the hall, nervous of unseen attackers hiding in the shadows. The body was there, leaning limply against the wall. It was a woman, I could see that much, but her hair covered her face. Kingsley moved forward and brushed back the dark hair.

I doubled over and vomited onto the dusty floor.

-

'_Are you staying?' I asked hesitantly. Emmy looked up in surprise and I explained my question rapidly. 'For dinner I mean. Not- anything else. Unless you want to of course - and you don't, I know. Sorry-'_

'_You're rambling,' she pointed out, smiling slightly. I sagged a little, the sight of her smile debilitating. 'Of course I'd like to stay for dinner.'_

'_Ok, great,' I grinned. Emmy's smile widened. We said nothing for a moment, before I realised I was staring at her. I looked away rapidly. 'Er…'_

_I'd never been sure what Emmy and I had. We'd never dared talk about it; I was terrified that if we gave it a name it would disappear, we'd lose something. Though I wasn't sure what._

'_Dora.'_

_I looked up at her. She was much closer than I'd realised._

'_Emmy.'_

'_Dora.'_

'_What?' I asked, a slight bite of impatience colouring my tone. She pressed a light kiss to my lips._

'_Please be careful,' she whispered. I stared at her, unashamed this time._

'_Emmy-'_

_My faint voice was cut off by the entrance of more than a hundred thousand Weasley children._

'_Promise,' Emmy said firmly. I nodded._

_-_

'Tonks, are you alright?' Molly asked, concern in her voice.

'I'm fine,' I replied. Why couldn't she leave me be? I knew she was only trying to help, but I couldn't deal with her help at that moment. My hands shook over the soup she'd shoved to me, making me even more clumsy than usual. _She'd_ always found that cute. _Adorable_, she'd said. I gritted my teeth and tore apart a bread roll Molly insisted I have.

'Remus will be over tomorrow,' Molly said softly.

'That's wonderful,' I lied. Why did Molly think I fancied him? The two of us had so little in common. Oh he was perfectly pleasant to me, but sleep with him? After-

I stopped my inner monologue abruptly. After nothing.

'Maybe you might talk to him a bit,' Molly suggested. 'Get to know him a bit better?'

'He seems very nice,' I said with a noncommittal shrug.

'I think he likes you too.'

Sometimes I thought that Molly must have been blind. Had she not seen how Remus was grieving after Sirius's death? Remus had no interest in me and that suited me just fine.

-

'_I love you,' Emmy murmured. I felt a familiar thrill shoot through me at those words. I'd never get used to her telling me that._

'_I love you too,' I grinned back, giving her a tiny peck on the lips. She was so beautiful in the light of the dying embers in the grate. The warm light played in her eyes and-_

_Sirius gagged loudly upon entering the living room. 'Get a room, lads. Unreal.'_

_I responded by throwing a cushion straight at his head. He dodged it, smirking slightly._

'_As if you and Lupin are any better,' Emmy retorted, smiling as well. Sirius shrugged, sitting with a sigh into the nearest armchair to the fire._

'_You're going to stay here then?' I questioned, more than a little annoyed at my cousin's interruption. _

'_You can take the second room on your right upstairs,' Sirius replied, closing his eyes and waving towards the door._

_-_

We didn't speak. Sloppy kisses and desperate fingers filled the gap adequately. And besides, what would we have said?

I'm sorry.

This means nothing.

I'm so lonely.

I miss her.

I miss him.

Why are we doing this?

-

_We didn't need to talk. We knew each other well enough that words weren't needed. Words would break the spell. And what could we have said that we didn't already know?_

_I love you._

_I need you._

_This is everything._

_Don't leave._

I love you so much Emmy.

**AN:** ok, I hope that was clear. Italics are flashbacks, the other bits are set during HBP. Please review! And I'm considering writing another oneshot from Remus's POV with a similar idea to it, so if you'd like that then just tell me in a review too =)


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